Light
It is cold.
The wintry branches of frosty deciduous trees shiver in agony; constricted from the freezing atmosphere which terrifies the birds of the summer. Old Man Winter is here, and his chilly breath lingers on my face, creating goose bumps under my clothed arms. The irony seeps into my mind as I compare the state of the powerless trees and glistening sun.
The path I travel on is uncompromising. I am startled when I realize that the once joyous sun is now being harassed by the dim clouds, only because of the frigidness and gloom which is positioned within them.
The eerie cries of the trees raise a sense of concern in my heart; I fear that the pain they experience will be everlasting. I myself have been a frozen tree once- withstanding the constraints of change, not knowing how to overcome them, if I will overcome them. Completely devoured by uncertainty and fear, I was petrified for myself- frightened that at any moment, my roots would deceive me.
Looking up at the cloudy, darkened sky, my heart melts as I come to the realization that it is time for day to succumb to slumber. My eyes become a well of salty water as a sense of déjà vu accompanies me. The clouds have begun their partition; pink and orange rays of the brilliant sun are at war with the darkness. The radiance of the now red ball of fire brings warmth to my soul. I am suddenly not afraid for the trees anymore.
As the bright celestial body begins to descend into the horizon, I nag myself out of the temptation to return to my emotions; my fear. Suddenly, my mind is filled with a splash of understanding. As I await the return of the light, I am accompanied with a sense of peace in my heart, for I have comprehended that the light of the world will continue to be my shield of protection, even as the end grows near. That, at the moment of its return, I will be filled with the everlasting joy and abundance that is longed for by the shivering trees. I understand that the strength that the roots, branches, and trunk develop through the gelid season is necessary in order for them to acknowledge the truth; the truth that the light will, in fact, return.
Dear Carolin,
I thought this piece was beautiful! Your syntax and word choice were very well thought out.
things to improve upon are the repetition of words, just go through your work and identify these repetitions.
Sincerely, Karl
Dear Carolin,
Your post really ignited all of my sense, it gave me a clear visual of what you wanted us to picture. Your word choices were incredible and fitted perfectly into your piece, they created another layer of elegance that contrasted with the deeper meaning you conveyed. Something I would try and improve on is, while still being descriptive, limiting the amount of words you use in (prevent being too “wordy”). Overall I really loved reading this and it for sure made me think.
Sincerely, Cayleigh
Dear Carolin,
I must say your piece is heart-touching and a great welcome to the morning. I couldn’t, even explain the way you portrayed the coming of winter, and how short the day is. Your skill of writing imagery is pure brilliant. Your last sentence left me hanging, and definitely I truly learned the significance of light in our lives.
In addition to your wonderful piece, some aspects of it that could be improved, would be trying to use less complicated words. In essence to your topic, in some spots such as your last sentence should be very simple, so the first and last sentence contrast. Otherwise, you had an excellent and skillfully written piece.
It’s amazing how you turned a simple subject of light, into a significant meaning.
Sincerely,
Mah Noor Imtiaz
Wow! Carolin, the blog was very well written. Excellent use of imagery and other literary devices. To me it felt like that those scenes were happening right in front of me. Excellent use of word choices. Very well done. Keep it up!