“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”. 

If you don’t know, this quote was said by Mohandas Gandhi, the most inspired person we know today.  He led the Indian independence movement with absolute non-violence.  He didn’t believe that violence could solve a simple nor a complicated situation.  But he didn’t only participate in the Indian independence movement,  he later led nationwide campaigns to ease poverty, expand women’s rights, to build religious and ethnic aminy, end the “untouchability” in India, and increase economic self-reliance.  This quote by Gandhi stood out towards me the most because I 100% agree that only people who are strong emotionally and mentally can forgive someone or something more quicker than weaker people.

Why does this quote stand out towards me?  There are many people who I have known who have not been able to forgive themselves or even other people around them.  They can hurt or even lose people who care about them severely.  I know this one girl who has been bullied for most of her life.  She has very low self-esteem and can’t trust a lot of people because of the past.  I would say she can’t mentally or emotionally forgive people for what they have done, or what she has done.  We were good friends for a good year or so.  She was very nice, kind, and she seemed like a good friend.  When we started getting a bit closer, I started to notice that she was becoming a bit clingy.  She didn’t trust me with other people, nor did she trust the people around me.  I had a couple other good friends, and she would always feel betrayed if I decided to spend a day with them.  She would try anything to try to get me and my other friends to break apart, just so she can get closer to me.  The turning point for me was that she actually started to bully me.  She would call me short, fat, stupid and meant every word of it.  I forgave her, thinking that she was just doing this because she was bullied.  It continued, and it started to get more constant every time.  I confronted her about it, and she simply said that she didn’t mean it.  She didn’t apologize, she just denied that she meant it.  The one disadvantage of not forgiving yourself or being very forgiving is that, like this girl, your trust for someone starts to diminish so fast.

Forgiveness is very powerful and can fix most situations.  The advantages of forgiving someone is that the trust they had in you will grow even stronger.  You will prove to them that you can let go of any problem pretty easily.   For example say you accidentally said a secret to another person, when it really wasn’t your secret to tell.  I know that has happened several times for me.  If they found out and knew it was you, they would be pretty mad.  If you have the strength to forgive for what you did, then most time the other person will forgive you.  They may not trust you as much as you would like anymore, but they do at least trust you.

The disadvantage of forgiving is that it may be hard to forgive if you don’t believe them or if you don’t actually mean it.  I know personally think that it is really hard to actually believe someone who you’ve had trust problems in the past.  They constantly lie and do stuff behind your back that you don’t like.  If they ask for your forgiveness, you will not believe that they actually forgive themselves.  You will always have doubt in them no matter what.