Freedom
Freedom, the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. We all think more than we say or at least most of us do, although we don’t always share it with the world. We possess the ability to say what we consider right, but still people don’t speak up. Freedom allows us to say whatever our heart desires, to deliver whatever we think in our mind. Yet we don’t speak what we want to say, why? Because we’re apprehensive of being incorrect eventually and eventually in the end, judged. Freedom will be achieved when we’re able to express what we believe without worrying that we sound idiotic or annoying. Students in school aren’t able to ask for help because their concerned they’re incorrect the other students will call them unintelligent and irrelevant. People in the world will be judged, made fun of and criticized and I believe that until this ends we wont achieve true world peace. As great as freedom is could it be something negative? Could freedom lead to a riot?Should our world be controlled by the government and we would all have to live in a systematic world? Maybe then we would achieve world peace and everything would be alright with the world.
When someone walks into a room the first idea that comes to you in to judge the person based on their appearance. Maybe the way they look will irritate you or appeal to you, yet you will judge them. Some people decide to have competition with the others because they consider them annoying or aggravating. Individuals that come to that point where they begin to judge themselves, end up taking their lives away because of all that hatred. We as human beings don’t speak out and don’t have a voice because we’re afraid of being judged? well that’s not true freedom. Freedom will be achieved when we’re able to express what we believe without worrying that we sound naive or senseless. Freedom won’t be easy to achieve we need everyone to be cooperative and helpful so we can all live peacefully in the world.
Freedom’s great and all, but would the world be a better place with limited freedom? The government would control what we do, where we do it, who we do it with, when we do it and how we’d do it. There wouldn’t be any disagreements because everything would be in order other than a few surprises here and there. Understanding and following the rules of society where we are being controlled would be very significant. Even though all this peace would occur and everything would stay in order we will still never achieve true freedom. Most acts would be controlled and individuals would be restricted to perform most tasks alone, but at least there would be peace correct?
Many things in this world aren’t easy to obtain, one of them is Freedom. Would this world be efficient with more freedom? or less? As hard as it is to obtain it’s also difficult to perceive that. True freedom is nearly impossible to achieve, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go for it, but what about limited freedom? Would a controlled environment be better? Or would you want more Freedom where you could say what you want to and do what you desire without being judged and restricted. Everyone has their personal opinions they believe in, but is freedom something that will truly benefit to you or not?
Hey Gavin,
Your views on freedom are much different and more accurate than others I’ve heard before. There was an extra “eventually” in the middle of the first paragraph and the word “freedom” is overused at times. But, all that can be fixed with RADeR.
Sincerely,
Amritpal
Dear Gavin,
In your blog, you pose a question that asks to what extent should we have freedom. I really appreciated that you were able to write both sides of the spectrum that freedom can take. If one gives up their freedom, a sense of security can be found, but a if one retains their freedom, they must be able to take care of themselves. This very closely relates to the two sides of the economic spectrum and the idea of a communistic society vs an individualistic.
To improve upon, I suggest fixing the first sentence of the second paragraph by adding in a comma after “room” and changing the “it” to “is”. I think that you should throw your own opinion at the end just so that we could see a bit of what you personally think.
Sincerely,
Vincent
Dear Gavin,
Giving the definition of freedom was an excellent hook at the start of the post, It really grabbed my attention and urged me to keep reading. “Students in school aren’t able to ask for help because their concerned they’re incorrect the other students will call them unintelligent and irrelevant.” I really understood and connected to this quote because I feel even though teachers encourage questions and say ‘no question is too dumb’ students are afraid of being judged outside the classroom.
To improve I suggest adding some personal examples or situations in which students feel the need to stay quiet. Also fix up the grammar a little as there are a couple mistakes throughout the post.
Overall it was an amazing piece that really exemplified your personal view on the idea of complete freedom.
Sincerely,
Madhav