The Hunni Blog ELA 10

Community Communication Trust Respect Courtesy Integrity Scholarship Self-Discipline

Forgive me father, for I have sinned

January11

    Forgive me father

for I have sinned;

    My behaviour has become

rather undisciplined

 

    Forgive me father

for I am in pain,

    you promised this would pass

oh, had you not been so vain

 

    Forgive me father

for I am deprived of options

   just as you had promised my wellbeing

I promised to stop playing with guns

 

    Forgive me father,

for my ungodly mess

    I’ve laced up the corset

of my poison dress

    Forgive me father

that I’ve held so dear,

    your brave daughter

left this infernal world without fear

 

Inspired by Ellen Hopkins’ Impulse

(Felt inspired, wrote a poem.)

 

by posted under Roshni | 2 Comments »    
2 Comments to

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned”

  1. January 15th, 2015 at 1:00 pm      Reply Asna Says:

    Dear Roshni,
    This poem touched my heart. It was so beautiful and I am at a loss for words. It has a touch of elegance and sophistication towards your writing. I could feel the emotions, and tension overide me all at once. I think I have fallen in love with this poem since it is just so amazing.
    I would suggest to conclude your space issues in your lst stanaza. Besides that I have nothing else to see for improvement since I am still mesermrized.
    Sincerly,
    Asna


  2. January 15th, 2015 at 1:05 pm      Reply cayleigh Says:

    Dear Roshni,

    This was incredible! I love poetry and this was an amazing piece, I appreicate you writting this! The only thing that i would improve upon was using wording more clear to what you are trying to convey to us. However, I got goose bumps reading this! I hope you write more poetry in the future!

    Sincerely,
    Cayleigh


Email will not be published

Website example

Your Comment:

Class Blogs


BLOGGING RULES

Community Communication Trust Respect Courtesy Integrity Scholarship Self-Discipline
January 2015
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Categories



Skip to toolbar